"Hold up wait a Minute. We dem boyz" - The Wiz.
That is right. We are boys and/or men. Some of us never really grew up mentally, but our bodies eventually mature and that's right; the balls drop. And when your balls hang low, they tend to get in the way sometimes. It's not a life ending issue, but it can be an annoyance at times and there are so many underwear companies making some many bold claims pertaining to solving this issue, yet do they deliver? It has been our experience that few do. And of those few, SHEATH is one, if not the best. What do we deliver? SHEATH has been said to be similar to having a cloud gently lifting the ballsack. They have been said to be a hammock for the nutz. Way before Victors Secret was a real website, SHEATH was the real Victors Secret, however we didn't claim the name because we didn't really like it. We are not lingerie, though I suppose we look sexy wearing them, or at least many of the men that wear SHEATH are told that by their wive's or girlfriends. We know this because they tell us via email or social media posts. And, some of us have been told this by our own significant others. BTW, if you can avoid it, save yourself the hassle and don't get married. Girl friends are way better and nicer, and if you stay together forever, great, if not, your life isn't torn to shreds if you decide to break up. But I digress.
Back to what SHEATH does. There is an underwear company called Hold Ups that we recently tried and they are great quality, but what do they hold up? Uhhh, not a damn thing. There is a phone pocket on the outside of one of the legs but it is for like an Iphone 4 and so it sort of is not very useful unless you are living in 2014 still. What SHEATH holds up is your balls and they are kept from sticking to your legs as well as from being sat on. There are a couple other companies that do this. Shall we share our competitors that we feel are actually worth a F?
We are not necessarily wanting to share the other brands we compete with that are actually decent, but we will anyway. Obviously is one brand that does what they say they do. ComfyBalls is not bad either. David Archy is probably the best of our rivals, but there is a new underwear called Eletrunks that we haven't tried but they and other underwear companies are making claims similar to ours. Why? Because it is what the people want. The difference is that SHEATH is the most effective in separating your manhood from the inner thighs, thus preventing stick-age, and SHEATH doesn't have any added strings or straps. With there are no strings attached and because of this, SHEATH is far more comfortable and simple. All these other companies are over complicating the situation, but at least they are trying; unlike two other underwear companies we despise for their misleading claims. The Jockey Pouch? no pouch... and then there is the infamous "Tommy John". First of all this is the dare I say stupidest name for underwear on the planet; second only to meundies; but the real reason they are so bad is because they make claims about no more readjustment needed, but when you put them on, you have to make a huge readjustment because you have to take them back off and either return them or throw them away because they are absolutely useless horrible underwear and that is why they charge so much because they know you won't be coming back so they get you good on the first pair. We here at SHEATH have a 100% money back guarantee on your first pair because we are confident that you will love our product, and secondly, if you don't feel they are a fit for you, we aren't trying to rip anyone off and we will give you your money back. And our underwear is reasonably priced unlike the over priced 31$ for Tommy John; and really, another dudes name on your underwear? How many egotistcal guys want to have their name as the brand of underwear. Really? Please stop.The Brand name SHEATH is very appropriate for our product and our prices are also reasonable. Our basic Model is just $19 and with bulk packs, you only pay $13 and if you apply one of our VIP customer discounts, they are even more reasonable in price. SHEATH is pretty much the only real option, but we recommend trying other options if you want to look foolish in elephant trunk underwear or have some other guys name on your waist band. BTW, Calvin Klein gets a pass on the "no dudes name on your underwear rule", because he was the first one to do it and it is actually a cool brand. But we are not really directly competing with them either. CK is just regular underwear with a cool name brand recognition. SHEATH is functional like the eletrunk underwear but more modest in a way. We aren't trying to put your junk out there. We are just trying to make you comfortable. That is the deal. That is it. We want to make you feel comfortable and look cool at the same time. Thank you for your interest in our product.
SHEATH Underwear segregates the balls and shaft in a cozy pouch isolating the package from the inner thighs and taint creating a cool breezy environment for the groin by preventing rubbing, sticking, and sweaty swamp balls. When you don't have swamp balls, you are far more likely to maintain focus as you work to achieve your goals, Metaphorically speaking.